What Matters Most
“You spelled groceries wrong.”
I leaned over my teenage son’s shoulder as he filled out a list of things he wanted me to pick up at
the store.
“Mom, it doesn’t matter. It’s a grocery list,” he moaned.
“Exactly. Which is why you should spell it correctly. And celery only has one L,” I added as I moved to
check the fridge.
He sighed with exasperation as began erasing the page. “Mom.
It’s not a spelling test. It doesn’t even matter.”
“It does matter. Your teachers don’t want you to just use your education in class, they want you to
use it in life. I want you to use it in life. It’s like brushing your teeth – do you brush them every day for
good hygiene or do you it only because I remind you?”
“Uhhh, is that a trick question?” my ten your-old daughter piped up.
I backed myself right into that one. Still, I have to hold out hope that my kids – and yours, too – will
take responsibility for their education and find it useful all the time, not just in 70 minute blocks. There
are things we learn in life that are tested and quickly forgotten (quick! Name the population of Bhutan!)
But there are other things – wondrous insights and nifty information – that we rely on every day. Some of
these pearls of wisdom even come – gasp! – outside the classroom.
Take for instance a recent weekend in my living room. My daughter was going to the movies with a
neighbor and my oldest son had plans to go to a friend’s for the night. That left my husband and middle
son doing what they do so well – watching football. With a sudden burst of inspiration I decided to join my
daughter and friend at the movie theatre and started making plans. My oldest son stopped me up short
and reminded me I had said I would take him to his friend’s house at 5:00. Right in the middle of the
movie.
Could he take the bus, I wondered? He’d be too late. Could I drive him to a different bus stop right
now in order to get to the theatre on time? He wasn’t ready; he’d miss the bus. Could my husband drive
him instead? One look at the Patriots-Steelers game told me in no uncertain terms – uh-uh. I hemmed
and hawed for a few minutes and tried to figure out a way to make good on my promise and still make it
in time for popcorn and a Coke; to no avail. I simply couldn’t get Nick to his friend’s house and make it to
the movie on time. Reluctantly I phoned the neighbor to back out.
After the 15 minute drive to his friend’s house Nick grabbed his backpack and hopped out of the car
with a quick peck on the cheek. He started to close the door then turned back and said, “Mom, thanks
for giving up the movie to drive me here. I appreciate you,” he said with a little grin.
As I drove away feeling no grudge at all now about the commute, I realized I just taught him a
valuable lesson about keeping your word and doing what you say you’ll do. And what I got back was
heartfelt appreciation.
It may seem like a relatively small thing…but it matters.