When it Comes to Slang, Mum’s The Word
Published May 6, 2007
Actions may speak louder than words but there comes a time when only a
word will do.
Take, for instance, the word ‘fart.’
It literally reduces kids to fits of laughter. And my daughter’s third grade teacher
is no dummy, he knows this and uses it to his advantage.
According to my daughter, one recent assignment in class was to write all the
words that adequately describe this human bodily function. Bubbly. Smelly.
Loud. You get the picture. Gross? Yes. More fun that adequately describing,
say, toast? You bet.
And while his technique of engaging kids (especially boys) in the writing
process is laudable, I can’t help but recall my own teacher’s horror when a
student first uttered the f-word (fart) in her classroom: it was grounds for
detention. Likewise ‘pissed’ and ‘ass.’ And saying something ‘sucked’ was a
sure ticket to the principal’s office.
My own mother, a teacher, banned girls from using the word ‘stud’ to
describe a cute boy, on grounds that it was referring to a male horse who was
used for reproductive purposes and therefore inappropriate for use in the
classroom setting. And in her day calling a woman a ‘broad’ was about as
derogatory as you could get, but if Imus had used that word in reference to a
certain basketball team he’d still be broadcasting today.
I’m sure every generation has its gaps when it comes to appropriate use of
slang, though it does seem we are getting farther and farther away from class
and decorum when conversing with one another.
How do you teach kids the parameters of polite conversation when they see
high school girls happily calling each other ‘bitches’ and boys flipping each
other off in warm greeting? Even politicians have been cursed in search of the
perfect word, with Dick Cheney publicly (if not politely) dropping the f-bomb on
the Senate floor.
Still, adults do have an obligation to teach kids the difference between what’s
profound and what’s simply profane, even if we don’t see eye to eye on their
idioms.
To my own kids, a little word to the wise: I expect you to be able to shake
hands with adults, look them squarely in the eye and say “Nice to meet you.” “ ’
Sup?” will simply not do.
And while I hope my kids will have the decency not to use offensive language
in public, I recognize that even the most distasteful of words are now part of
everyday speech. The unutterable have become utterly common.
It’s a conundrum. Hundreds of years ago, the puritans never would have
dreamed of swearing in public; but then again, they didn’t bat an eye at burning
witches in the town square. So, perhaps we are a kinder, gentler, more
compassionate people, despite our lack of conversational etiquette.
And perhaps there’s some logic in teaching kids about the six traits of writing
and along the way making them laugh so hard they’ll pee their pants.